What to do in the waiting?

I don't have any news to share.  I have many emotions and thoughts.  I don't know if I want to go into this week.  I have a radiation appointment tomorrow.  I guess it is just a talking appointment, so, whatever.  On Wednesday, we have a visit with the oncologist.  He is going to inform me if I am at a high or low risk on metastasis.  If I am a high risk, I have the privilege of undergoing chemotherapy.  I don't want to.  But I will because I want to kick this thing. My first appointment will be with a hair stylist to purchase a wig in case I lose my hair. If I am a low risk, I am going to book my buying trip to Vegas in January and possibly a vacation for Bernie and I for when the radiation treatments are over.  I would probably just not go to the oncologist appointment if I didn't have the potential to plan a vacation!

Truth be told, I am planning on the chemo route.  I figure that if I am mentally prepared for that news, I will be happy if it is not and I will be not as angry if it is. The talk at our house is pretty much in it for the long haul.

I went back to work and got all the Christmas product displayed.  The store looks amazing.  But now I am paying the price because my surgery location is swollen.  I look well endowed...on one side.  Ugh!  So now I am being told to take it easy.  It makes me so annoyed!  I have things to do and I want to do them.  My Holiday Open House is this week!  Next week is our baking week for the Annual Craft show that Bonnie and I bake Dutch Letters and Pig-in-the-blankets and other specialties.  Then comes the holidays.  I don't have time to "take it easy".  So DUMB!  So, as I type this, I have an ice pack stuffed in my shirt under my arm.

We celebrated Jolene's first birthday last night.  She is our sixth grandchild.  She had a pink frosted cake that was everywhere.  So precious!

So how can you help?  You can be encouraging, most of you do well with that. Isn't it crazy how 99% of people can be so sweet and caring and a few people say something hurtful and that is what I remember?  You can pray for courage and strength and wisdom for me and for Bernie and for our kids and for our supporters and for the doctors and for anyone who talks to us.  You can make cookies, I love cookies.  Just kidding, maybe. Unless I have to do chemo, then, make cookies or soup, I like soup, too.

Thanks for reading!  I will write again when I can!


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